This image is really an amazing replication of how I felt yesterday. You see the introvert me, was able to get out from behind and talk about my why. A few months back, I applied to do a TedxLangleyED Talk. I figured they wouldn't pick me as my story isn’t that amazing. But low and behold they choose me to do a talk. Oh, the excitement I felt that day. It lasted for minutes and then it hit me... I would have to be on stage, in front of a crowd and be recorded. Oh, my lord, what have I done. I the introvert was putting myself out there.
It was a great amount of prepping and discussion with Maria Lerouse to get me to a point of being ok with my story. The problem for me is I just think of myself as a teacher. I just teach. I am not amazing or inventive or anything. In my mind, I am just a teacher. I just help students become their best selves and the things they do sometimes help me shine. But she helped me see that my story is really worth telling.
So, I spent months honing my presentation and trying to memorize what I wanted to convey. I had built up a confidence in myself and my story. I was prepared. And then it hit me on Friday. I was at rehearsal and I saw the stage, cameras, lights, monitor and oh the people. Wow my fears came full force. What was I thinking doing this? Why am I causing myself this anxiety? How am I going to do this? What if I blank out or worse pass out? Yes, I made it through the rehearsal and I was ok. I didn’t say everything I want but it went well. No need to redo things, no requests to talk clearer or with more or less volume. I was confident I would be ready for Saturday if I just relaxed and went to the hotel and practiced a bit more.
Saturday morning came and I was still feeling a bit nervous but ok. I arrived at Chief Sepass Theatre and I was lead to the green room. Yes, the nerves were really pumping but I was confident I could do this. So, as I sit down to have some water, we all start talking about our upcoming tedx talks and the gentleman beside me starts telling his story of his family and their mount Everest. Oh no. The imposter syndrome hit me big. What Mt Everest. He is talking about going up Mt Everts. Oh, No Can I change my mind now? Can I just not do this?
So, I go for a walk out front and I see Rose Pilay in the crowd and she is like my beacon of confidence for me. I just realize that I can do this. As I start my talk I can see the crowd acknowledge me and laugh at times with me. It was an amazing experience. I gave my talk and left the stage feeling ok. I did it. I had told my story of why and how I teach. Now I just hope they enjoyed it.
When I came of stage I received some compliments from the Teed crew and other presenters but inside I wasn’t sure if it was a good talk but I felt good I had done it.As the day went on, I had several discussions with audience members who loved my story. But mostly I loved the students there asking if I could come teach them or if not at least explain to their teachers how school should be fun.
I had done it. I had taken my introvert self and put myself out there and shared my view on education. You see I have always felt that school should be fun for all students and I want my high schoolers to come home every day to share their love of the fun learning they did.
Thank you to everyone at TedxLangleyed for all your support and hard work you put into an amazing day. Also, thank you to my support group of 3 who's smiles and simple conversations helped me feel good the whole day. Stay tuned for the video.