Control

Control is an issue we all seem to deal with daily. Wanting control. Giving up control. Losing control. Keeping your control. It all matters.

As an educator, I decided to give up control of my class over the years. No, I don’t let them run the show. I gave up the control style of teaching and I allow my students to have decision making, project deciding and event content control in my high school STEAM classes. I have taken on the role of the facilitator of their learning and not the controller of grades and content. This has changed my classes for the better for me and my students.

Over this past year, I have been trying to gain control. I had a plan for my future. I knew the path I wanted to follow. But life has a way of taking your control away. You see I was off work for a heart issue and I was dealing. I was still following my plan for the future and living and learning. I stepped out of my box and did a ted talk and presented at several conferences. You see my health wasn't going to control me.

That has now changed. The medical experts found the reason for my heart issue. I have a perfect heart. I have extremely low iron causing the heart issue but nothing we did helped the low iron. So now I have my new diagnosis and I must have surgery and treatment.

I am now controlled by outside factors. I am not the one in control and it is so very hard for me. My partner has noticed how hard it is for me. He has stated a few times to stop trying to gain control of the little things. You see, I will demand to know the plan for the day... where we are going when we are in the car? or even where everything is and why it got moved in the house. This is all new for me. I forgot how much control I really needed in my life. Now that I don’t have control, I am seeking control of whatever I can have control of.

So now my days are trying to accept that I am not in ultimate control of everything. I must let life take its path and follow where it will lead me. You see I have really aligned this experience to teachers trying to give up class control to our students. It is hard to give up control especially if that is how you were taught. If you have been able to give up control in the class, help others through the process and be ready for the fall out. I am a testament to that. Giving space, support and help to guide them through this change of teaching style. We all need support sometimes and especially during transition or changes in life.